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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

SWEEP THAT UNDER THE OTHER RUG

"What Do You Avoid"

I can go on many topics, but Politics is one thing I do avoid, religion is also a touchy subject, marriage, family issues, sexual orient, & social media.

There are things we can not avoid.  our daily lives exisit of bills, keeping a roof over your family's head, money and the list goes on.  I have not been able to write blogs on a daily basis as I would like to.  I have become so involved in helping to find solutions and implement programs along with several organizations.  Besides work, home, family life and keeping up on my studies it has been challenging, but I have learned to not overwhelm myself trying to do it all.  But, my involvement in OUR YOUTHS and an epidemic that has spreading like a wildfire has been my main focus these days.  I have been BLESSED to actually began doing Direct Practice in my Field of study. As a Youth Advocate/Counselor ; it is my obligation to make as many people aware of what is going on in our own homes, family and friends lives and share information I am experiencing and learning.

A few months ago, I begin volunteer at an Mental Health and Drug abuse facility for youths. It was heart-warmth to hear a young man who was battling with not only a drug addiction, but trying to also sale drugs to help his father who was  making minimum wage. To tell me on my first day, that I was like a "breath of fresh air".

I am asking EVERYONE of my Audience, readers, supporters ...AND especially, PARENTS TO WATCH YOUR CHILDREN~ Observe any unusal behavior, ask questions, find someone to support you, become a snooping and open-minded parent.  We are living in different times and a new generation.  A generation where peer pressure is at its all time high!  We are seeing numerous complaints throughout our nation on "BULLYING".  It is a MAJOR problem!  It has gone to the extreme where we are having children committing suicide, children no longer want to attend school and are being home schooled.  We hear about it, but many ignore because we think it can not happen in our homes.  
"NOT MY CHILD, I KNOW WHAT MY CHILD IS DOING". 
**PLEASE TAKE THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU END UP TELLING YOUR STORY AND BEFORE IT IS TO LATE.**

Another alarming epidemic is "PRESCRIPTION DRUGS".  Our world has become the Capital of prescription drug abuse.  We can go to our doctors and complain about anything and BLAM! That doctor does not hesitate putting us on a medication. 
 #1~ It is ALL ABOUT PROFIT.  Our Country thrives on not what is best for us, but how valuable we are.  Each time we visit the doctors, each time we make them and insurance companies money. Are value is based on what or how much we cost and our net worth is their profit.  
WE ARE IN THE ERA of the NEW RECESSION and that has caused MAJOR DEPRESSION.  So there has been an increase in what is now a major disorder "depression and anxiety". So what does your doctor do? Place you on more medication.  More people are applying for disability at alarming  rates. Count how many times you see a commercial a law firm promising to get us disability benefits. Now ask yourself, 
where are our youths getting their fix? From home, relatives, friends, friends that have family members on medication or connections in school and connections that may surprise you (classmates and teachers).
I have attended so many seminars and heard so many tragic stories of youths using prescription medication. Not saying parents are not monitoring their children, but I listened to a few parents that have lost their children, have placed not one, but two or more children in rehabs and these parents have not just lost their children, but they have lost themselves. They have blamed themselves and crying for help, but also trying to place blames on schools instead of looking for other resour.  
I've heard them expeess how they feel it should be the responsibilities of schools to educate these kids of the dangers of drugs.  
**The school can only do so much and Education is key**but, education can also take place at home. 
It is all of our  responsibilities. You can have your children in all the sports, musical classes, ballet, karate lessons and think their is not a problem because we oir keeping them so active that it's no way they have time to indulge in drugs. It sadden me to hear families tell their stories and how they had no clue that their child has been indulging in drugs since they were 8 years old or younger.  They see their child as being this great athletic and not a drug abusers . Why, because they are the captain of the  football team and guess what? Those team members are aware and some of those teammates are also using or providing.  
The saddest part is not realizing until that same child is continuously using and you start noticing some changes, but by now they are going into adolescent years and the problem has gotten out of control.  That same child has been going in your medicine cabinets, pocketbooks, knows where you keep your supplies and we are still thinking there is nothing wrong.  Yes, we have noticed that their attitude has changed, they are just tired, stressed trying to keep up on their studies and anything they may be involved in at school.
I hardly remember having peer pressure, but in my day and age.  There was pressure such as; being in the in-crowd, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, and yes, the most I heard as far as a drug was ACID and I had no ideal what it was or what it looked like and was not curious to find out nor did I care about popularity.  that was then and this is now.
I am proud to be part of many awareness leagues and orgorganizations that are plaguing our nations and being part of doing some thing that matters. Some things we can not continue to "Sweep Under Another Rug".
It can not be ignored. It's REAL just as real as facing facts that we are still a divided and injustice system. As real as same sex marriage, as real as billions of people who are affected with HIV/AIDS [and millions who do not know they are affected], bipolor disorders, multiple personalities,  as real as schizophrenia. 
We all have stereotypes against any individuals that we feel does not fit in society because we believe people want to be drug addicts or have mental disorders that we believe is an excuse. It is as real as PTD {post traumatic depression}. 
Some people's disorders can be managed many ways without medications, but some can not. 
Look at the news, read, and stay informed of all the devastating deaths of mothers and fathers killing their children or starving their children because they have not taking their medications. 
Medications have become a security blanket an addiction. 
What happened to alternative traditional therapy.  Take away deadly medications and try herbal methods? 
We are losing loved ones, celebrities that we watch on our favorite shows not realizing that they are suffering and calling out for help, but didn't know HOW to ask for help because of shame or embarrassment. 
So how or what can we do? Open our minds, our hearts, educate, and not be in denial. Let's tackle these issues and concerns before they become a MAJOR Problem. Let's not wait until another Government Shut-down where we all feel the crunch and wait till it gets out of control and than choose to take action. LET'S TAKE ACTION NOW, BEFORE WE LOSE MORE OF OURSELVES. 

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

"Definition of What Defines Us"

It's not how we look, how we dress, how much we pay for our outfits, who you are, but what you believe in.
IT'S BIGGER THAN ALL OF US~IT IS WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE,WHAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT ...
SO I AM SHARING MY PASSION, MY DREAMS, MY SUCCESS, MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS, MY MISSION BECAUSE...  IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT ME.. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU..IT'S ABOUT "ALL OF US". 
One Nation and Giving the Best you Got...so this is what DEFINES ME with ALL OF US.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

"I DO or Don't I"


THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN COMPARE TO HAVING THE ONE YOU LOVE FINALLY PROPOSE TO YOU.. ONLY OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENT IS SEEING THE BIRTH OF YOUR CHILD.

We all go through life wondering what career or path we want to take in life, do we want to have children and do I want to get married.  The world has changed and those traditional theories have somewhat resolved into this new day ERA of the Millennium.  Some women & men are having children at an older age, whereas; before there was pressure from family members and society.  If you were close to 30 and no husband or children, you were considered an "OLD MAID".  Now some, choose to have a career first before bearing children. But we do not know when or how fast you may advance in your career & what about being financially equipped?  Babies & children are VERY costly. 
Now that you have achieved the level of success to your expectation, what about companionship.  Most people tend to focus so much on their life& throw themselves in their career that they do not have a social life.  Now, you have the success & no one to share it with.  Now the clock is ticking and your ready to build a future.  This consist of a finding a mate & producing children. You  begin the search process and may have been off the scene for quite some time  so searching for "THE ONE" is your main goal. 
You look back at your previous relationships and after trying the club scene, you realize that is not the greatest place to meet your future mate.  For GOD SAKE! You are looking for "THAT ONE" that has all the qualities you are looking for.  You realize that starting a relationship at work is also not the best ideal  Now you have resorted to blind dates, sexless nights, & social media sites.  You run into several weirdos & finally you think you have met "THE ONE".  Until, you find out that person is not who you think they are or the inevitable happens (their already in a relationship or married).






It takes time to get to know someone, but your start feeling like you are running out of time.  You may resort back to what I refer to as a "Throwback".  A relationship you were in at one time and basically thought long & hard on the best candidate, but you are soon reminded, why that relationship ended.
Women have options; surrogates, adoption, In Vitro Fertilization, freezing eggs, but you want to do it the old fashion way.  Finding your true love! You gone through several relationships and a couple or a few you may have thought they were the ones. But, there is no better feeling in finding "THAT ONE".  Someone you feel you have gotten to know pretty well, the romance, the affection, the support, the charm, the laughter and before you know it, time has passed and both of you are thinking "what is next".
Most women are waiting to hear those words or at least that commitment and the engagement & before he can pop the question, you are already saying "I DO"!
The ring is beautiful, but sometimes you expected more, but at this point; it doesn't matter because you have a fiance.  You are now engaged &can not wait to share this milestone to the WORLD.


NOW, things are starting to get a little bumpy.  The relationship may not be living up to our expectations.  They say that marriage changes a person.  The day that ring is placed on your finger.  You gain this confidence, your thinking to yourself "I got her/him". We're going to live happily ever after. You did all the preparations for the wedding or now you are married and what he/she use to do, has changed. Then all of a sudden, the relationship is just not working out.
This topic has been a very controversy topic lately {before the government} shut done.  If the engagement or marriage dissolves, Should the woman/man return the RING!! The symbol of your love that once was cherished and unforgettable. 



I  recently found a couple a mementos that are worth good money.  I thought should I pawn it, that quickly left my thoughts.  I remember the last few rings I acquired over the years, I eventually stop putting them on and gave it to my daughters (BIG MISTAKE) she didn't cherish them like I thought she would.  But, how could I expect her to? They had symbolic meaning to me!  Some people say you are still holding on.  I do not believe that to be true.  I feel that it was a gift and besides that.  It meant something to me. 

Some people are agreeing if the marriage or relationship is dissolved that it should be returned.  There are a few cases that people are actually fighting & suing the other person to return the ring and other valuables that were given.  At some degree, it is like a prenuptial agreement and it can depend on how much the items cost.   If it is not written, notarized or made clear~HELL2DANIZZOT...YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK.  I EARNED THOSE THINGS, YOU GAVE IT TO ME FOR BETTER OR WORST & I AM KEEPING IT!

Is it worth the argument or headache? I figure, it can't be anymore stressful than breaking up or all the previous arguments.  I will even compromise, we can sell the ring & split the money, but what you will not do, is give it to the next chick. Whether you are so over it, it still was given to YOU. It makes you think of the good times you shared, but also it makes you think of the bad and that's when you take the ring  and put it back in its original box and put it up...waaayyy back in the closet somewhere.  What I think is unhealthy is still wearing the ring after the break up and it is clear that their will be no reconciliation.

SO NO "I DO NOT" THINK THE RING SHOULD BE RETURNED TO SENDER. THE ONLY THING YOU WILL GET IN RETURN IS UNPAID BILLS THAT YOU LEFT.


**AS ALWAYS~THESE ARE STRICTLY MY OPINION AND IS NOT TO INFLUENCE, DISCOURAGE NOR ENCOURAGE MY THOUGHTS**


 

 LOVE..HAPPINESS & PEACE!