We all have things in life that we would like to forget, pretend never happened, maybe we are in denial, but there are Some things we just do not want to face.
What are some of your most deepest darkest secrets? Are you running away from it, feel guilty, embarrassed, afraid, confused, shame or just never want to face it ever again?
They always say, what you do in the dark will come to light and I can say that this is true in my case.
We always think we can bury things and it will never arise, but sooner or later, this dark secret rises up and there seems like there is nowhere to run and your trying find a next place to hide.
Working in a field where you mentor and counsel, but also just in my personal life, people tell me some of their most deepest desires, needs, secrets and expressions. This may put you in a very unusual place because you may come across someone who you may or may not be able to relate with and some things will take you by complete shock.
Counseling someone comes with many responsibilities; confidentiality, transference of your own beliefs, trust, guidance, dependence, admiration, feelings, confidence, and the list is continuous. We hear stories from child abuse (client may be the abuser and not the victim), sexual assault or abuse, gender complex (identity crisis), self harm, infidelity, sexual fantasies, drug addiction or abuse, social media, porn, online game addictions, racism, and list goes on.
I shared one of my darkest secrets and I do recommend therapy when you are struggling to find yourself, not feeling yourself for prolonged period or just in need for other support. Therapy has nothing to do with race, but a therapist, is someone who does not know you or have prejudge-mental biases towards you. It is easier to talk to a complete stranger rather than your closest friend(s) or acquaintance.
For example; Someone I thought that was going to become closer than an acquaintance, I shared bits and pieces of myself and when I mentioned that I seek counseling, this acquaintance said to me, "Don't you think it is time to stop going to therapy?" (I don't and won't use an emoji).
Now try what we use to do, use imagination and everything that this person has told me about some of their most darkest secrets, it took everything in me to not let loose of those things that are still haunting them. But, I am still human underneath this skin. Now imagine that I let loose my ghettoness {I'm ratchet & a Classic}, tongue slipped, and my mean interior, low tolerance, FOH attitude, and my professionalism is not part of this scenario. I would say ...
BITCH PLEASE!!! GET YO LIFE!!
I will never reveal or try to be something I am not. I am not looking for bragging rights or credit, stop trying be me. Your life is your choices.
If one of my darkest secrets by the time I am 60 + is the same as this acquaintance, somebody please NEVER STOP PRAYING FOR ME!!
If you have not found happiness within that 50-60 age, please do not blame others or get so jealous because others have. That is your deepest regret and secret.
Let everyone understand that I DO NOT REGRET one moment of my life. I'm just repairing and patching up a road that needed some reconstruction because so many people need this route and cannot pass through unless I'm repaired. Repair has begun & I'm a not new, I'm the same me, not the old me and I will not let people wear me out that I will need to be rebuild, but repairs is always necessary. Live your life the way you want or one day your parts will not be able to be repaired.
**Juswhoim
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