What's New

I need a Clone! Always overbooked, but that's #JusMyLife. I apologize & thank my supporters.
Life has me going in so many different directions.
Many people can relate. Especially us women. We have to multitask our personal life, home life, work life, & so much more.
When you blog, it's like research. You have to collect data & produce facts.
I have been TOTALLY focus on me. After all, don't forget everyone has a story. After hearing others stories, my plate is full, but someone else's is EMPTY.
This new direction, path & guidance from the Almighty has open so many doors for me. I haven't closed all previous doors, but I'm still a work in progress.
My mind is clear, my vision is still blurry {need to get my eyes check}, but returning to school has truly been my salvation. GOD Willing, I will be graduating next semester.

Change is scary. I am ready to graduate but at the same time it's also a scary. but I been trained to be determined, devoted, responsible, and strong-willed from birth to adulthood.

The scary part is, facing a new career & the career path I have chosen takes a special person dedicated in helping.
People's problems or issues. But we are not responsible for fixing our clients live. The job of a clinician is to help our clients to manage & some sort of balance with the issues or problems they may be facing. We cannot fix a person . Only a person has to be willing to fix oneself.
In this field, it is a large spectrum. You must first, know whom you are and what or should be said. 
I must know my goals & that helps in this field of expertise (knowing your passion) With that being said, I have decided to be a life coach.
There are many other things I would like to accomplish. I want to try so many different aspects of this major. Such as crisis hotline intervention,  raise more awareness on mental health, depression, anxiety, & most important; in our communities.
Our children are our future and I would love to pass the torch from the children that I mentor so they can lift up that next child that feels hopeless.
So now that you know I enjoy blogging, the time management is one other thing that I am trying to manage.
I have a lot on my plate, but I am up to the challenges I know I will succeed. I truly believe I work well under pressure.
So to my supporters, please keep supporting I have so much things to share that may change your life one day.
Once again I think you for allowing me to express myself.  Stay tuned because I have so many stories to tell you!
Relationships, friendship, family,  new social settings, social media, nightlife, underground world, latest crisis & some may be personal experience and others...let's just say..it's FACTUAL because I'm always taking notes & observing.
I get the juicy details but I do my research ALWAYS!
#LifeIsGrand #SkyIsDaLimit
#ImBlessed #AlwaysThinkAboveHigherGrounds
Hope everyone had a beautiful Thanksgiving & just in case, Enjoy the holidays coming, but know the reason why you celebrate.. Hmmmm (may be my next topic).

#NoJudgementAllow
I do this because it is #JusWhoIAm.
Peace.. Happiness.. Love

"Free Your Mind"

The Rest Will follow...

Every Experience is a Learning Method & Every Experience is Insight...
Always a Story Behind Every Experience.

#JusWhoIm

Is it True!?!?

http://www.nairaland.com/20685/what-does-birth-month-mean

See if it's True..Does the Meaning Fit You?

This is very interesting. I am a strong Believer in Astrology; horoscopes, palm reading, uneasy with tarot readings.
It tells you a lot about yourself that makes you think "Oh Wow, that is me".  Your reaction to the reading will have you admit some truth & some may not be true in your view.
No, I do not call psychic hotlines, but believe or not, I have preconceptions & many have came true. My family told me to stop & not reveal things I vision or foresee.
My readings personally has always given me a precise & accurate reading each time. So when you do read it, ask yourself is that you. You may be in denial, you may see what someone has told you from their standpoint about you.
Some people look at it as witchcraft.
I beg to difference. I have a STRONGER bond in my spiritual beliefs. That comes first & foremost.
People fear the outcome of Astrology. If you practice voodoo, you will believe in what interest you.
I believe Voodoo exist, but many things are a myth. I have heard many stories, whether if it may be a myth or true. I believe in what I believe in, how about you?

Goodnight & thank you for continuous support my readers.

#JusWhoim

http://www.bestenglishquotes.com/2013/12/08/story-behind-date-birth-interesting/

juswhoim: Does Life Seem Different for You

juswhoim: Does Life Seem Different for You

The Meaning of Loss

I lost something & somebody that was truly valuable.

Some days I do not like what the world has come to.  How we have all gotten loston & wrapped up in..#socialmeaningless & forgotten the feel of real socializing.  I'll text you replaced, I'm going to call you.  Then when I text you, you text back & we do this about 3-4 times, but as soon as one of us call, we don't answer.

Then I want to thank social media for all the reconnection for so many friends that I have a profound & meaningful relationship with that I NEVER meant to let go. 

Do You know what is true friendship? True friendship is those that you rarely see..you rarely converse with, but no matter how long it's been. You are greeted with open arms.

I suffered many lost.. Valuables.. Loved ones..many family members & some gruesome & tragic. So when I lost a friend..a sister..a schoolmate..someone that you first encounter in life when you first go to school.  

A 35 year sisterhood.  It was a different feeling that I never felt before. 

I spent everyday of my childhood & part of my adolescent years at her house. We grew together & watched one another transform from kids to motherhood. 

When she reconnected with me through Facebook. All our childhood memories were so clear. She ask me to call her so we could catch up.  But of course, everyday hustle makes us put so much & so many people we love on the back burner. We never talked..only through FB.  I told her how beautiful she still was & couldn't believe how grown her daughter gotten because last time I saw her daughter she was just three months old & now she was a mother.  Congratulated my friend on her new journey & life as a "Glammom" {new term for new generation of young grandmoms}.

Then one day after a hard day, I decided that I was going straight to bed, but some reason I went on FB & my heart dropped-------Everywhere I looked...everything I read was about my friend/my sister that I known since fourth grade..someone I loved..someone I never once had an argument with..someone who invited me in her house & treated me like family.  That house is where everyone came to have nothing but fun..NO DRAMA..Old school fun. And now she was gone.

I try not to beat myself up for not calling. I think she was not just trying to catch up..hang out..reminisce, but to let me know she's been sick for a couple years after a surgical procedure. 

My heart is still in pain.  My beautiful sister has left us but she also made the rest of us who grew up all together so much closer & more old friends reconnect.

I didn't think I would be able to handle seeing her in that casket. I seen friendly faces..our childhood friends.. her only sibling..her mother..her daughter & I heard the pastor asked did anyone want to say something about her or to her family.  God gave me the strength & I saw her face so peaceful & pure as an angel.

I dare ever say goodbye. Just like everyday I left her house, instead I got the chance to say.."I'm out..I'll be back..I'll see you later. 

I love you my sister..my friend..my girl to the end. 

**This is dedicated to my dear friend.. Dana China Howerton**

 May you continue to smile upon us..lift up when were weak (especially your gracious mother, sister, friends & all your loved ones).  We will NEVER forget you Diva. You were a bling out Diva with all the flash & class from the day we met. I will never forget all the fun we had..jumping rope..chasing the boys to beat them down for touching our butts. I see these kids know & they will never see the fun we had playing outside..making up games..no technology. True emotions..hugs & intimate moments.

You are "UNFORGETTABLE"..PIP MY DEAR FRIEND.. MY SISTER. I MISS YOU MORE THAN I EVER HAVE.  Another sign to NEVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED.

"Bow My head for a moment of Silence to ALL my loved ones gone...but still in my Heart & Mind"

Hater or Envy

Lot of people, especially my family asked me why I blog or I hear smart remarks with sarcasm~" Oh, now u a blogger'".  People you think knows you best..they don't.
If people do things that they always had an interest in it shouldn't be a surprised if they pursue it.  But you have to remember, how many people in your life really knows your passion.  Don't assume people know you. People judge us by what they see & perceive it in their retrospectives.

I have always loved to write.  I remember in school how me & my girls would write letters & we would pass them to one another in the hallway, excuse ourselves from class for a restroom break just so we can meet in the restrooms to give each other's letters.  We would pass them in class if we had class together & my letters were never shorter than 8 pgs.

A few years ago, I just sat down with a paper & a pen.  I wrote 76 pages that night & it was my first book that I plan to publish. UNDERSTAND..I am not the kind that gives up, but some things do get placed on that back burner.
I have more books I would like to start on & like any project I put my mind to it, I don't like starting something & never complete it.
It's all about timing, money, & resilience.

My response on why I chose to become a blogger because it gives me a chance to express my thoughts.  It's a reflection of my life.

Seems lately, no matter how great something means to me, others question & that is ok with me.  I like people to view me as this mystical being.  I changed for a better me.  I love the challenges, obstacles, the doubts, broken promises, spending time with me, embracing who I am & loving the skin I'm in.
The one features I love about me the most.  I NEVER #GAF what others said or what they think about me.  Professionally wise, (somewhat) Who wouldn't want to impress their employers? It's called advancement.  I strive for excellence, but if I am at least half of that, I have advanced.

I don't like the word" HATE" it symbolize a terrible image of human live.  I always though I never had haters. Not ME, the one who motivates, mentors, lead & challenge  others to reach their wildest dream & accomplishments.  I congratulate others for their accomplishments. Whether it is that new BMW or pass the hardest test in school. 
Some things we view as hatred can turn to jealousy, but that jealous is usually Envy.
I tell others, you can accomplish the same, but it's what you want to achieve & based on how bad you want it.

Envy or Hate, Hate or Envy, you tell me.  I blog because I feel free.

#LetYourHatersBeYourMotivators

Does Life Seem Different for You

Does life views change the older you get?
I see & know somethings I strongly believe in, will ever change, but I see lot has. Many people live in the past..Stay in the the same positions & that is their decision.
Some things we need to change, some things we never change, some things we are frightened to change.  Most of us don't like change because we assume that changes will be a negative or worst change, but sometimes ALL change is not a scary thing & we must realize, nothing in life Remains the same.
You been transforming yourself your entire life.  We ALL set some type of goals no matter what situations we may be in, situations make you refrain from change. You ONLY see one way in, but not out.

Society has placed & changed values, perceptions on our lives.
You need to be taller, smaller, large, quieter, more vocal, vulnerable, stronger, shame, guilt, popular, unpopular...."SCREAM"!!!!!!!!

Who are you? Have you changed & is it the best change or transformation for you?

#BeYou

#LoveYourSkinYouWereBornIn

Inspirational Thoughts at All Cost

Reflecions

This has been an AMAZING end of the year & New beginnings.  I look back & sometimes it is a good thing to reflect on your past so you can see all the things you have accomplished, still want to accomplish, & add more accomplishments.

I never thought these may blessings would be heading my way.  In just a few short months ago, I dug deep & had plenty time to replenish.  My world was just so Dark that I couldn't & wasn't allowing myself to see clear.  I removed all negative energy into my POSITIVE inbox.  I took time to get to know & learn more of my family history.

This past winter was a rough one, but it gave me more time to explore & find things to do, expect being depressed I research my ancestors, I created a jewelry wall (in case I never mentioned I have a jewelry obsession), I caught up & reminisce with old friends & new friends, made certain all my school assignments were completed, cleared my mind  & rearranged my closets, rooms & my life.
I went from what seemed like, I had no life to a full & complete life.  As I look back, I see I had so much clutter & junk that I couldn't part with, but I knew I had to. Ridden some personal things that have just been there taking up room for new things, they been useless so why hold on? Because it is a security blanket, it is comfort, it is all we know & afraid to let go.

Going from watching your life slowly crumbling & then watching it go full circle like a tornado, you feel helpless, you find yourself spinning out of control, but the world doesn't stop while we were going through a whirlwind. After disaster, all we see is shattered pieces of our lives. You only see everything you've had & how hard you worked to get to that comfortable life style so now you are watching everything go down the drain & you don't know how to begin picking up those broken pieces & putting them back together again.  Even if you try to put it back together, it's not the same, the value depreciate. All these thoughts make you want to just give up because it is no way you can imagine starting over, it's too many shatter pieces, it's too much.

As I describe the feeling of disaster, my  heart & prayers go out to every one that has gone through & are still dealing with destruction; victims 911, of Hurricane Katrina, Typhoon victims, Tsunami & Earthquakes that shook up multiple countries; China ,Indonesia, Thailand, Haiti & the list goes on. I look at that & my problems & conflicts are so minimal.  I feel shame & embarrassed that I look at my life as a complete disaster & people in my own life are struggling worse than me.  I ask for forgiveness & I know if it wasn't for my spiritual beliefs I wouldn't be here today writing to the public or announcing to others that it is never to late or impossible to start over.  Give yourself some credit for all you have accomplished so far, even if  all you done that day was get up & out of your bed, you proved that you can get up & once you get up, you proceed to navigate to the next step & with that next step you performed an act. 

We can not envision another persons world & to say that we understand is in accurate.  Is there some things we can relate to? Yes. but it still not the same because we all wear different shoes, hats & clothing.
I had no ideal what my next step was or what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve.   I just ask God to guide me & vowed to let him lead.  I knew that I wanted to continue to build my family Foundation for our youths & communities, but what was going to be my next strategy.  I didn't have the funding, which is the first thing you think of  & even with some of the fundraisers we've had, we had to give back to the community & hold on to it to do a next event. 

I analysis each member on our Foundation team & assessed each individuals talents, achievements, resources, motivation, education & that's when it hit me. I want a degree this time around if I do this, I am not leaving without my degree this time.  I've been to college many times, I am a repeated offender on many different levels & I am proud of all the knowledge, experience, success, & continuing education I have gained, but I never fully completed a program.  Yes, continuing education is great & beneficial because at that time I may not had the degree, but at the  all my certifications were enough to pursue a career.  This time around, I re-focused on "who am I", "what do I want", "what is my true passion", "what message do I want to perceive", "what am I good at doing"? All those questions lead to one answer, I always had a passion & contributed a lot to many people.   I like to help people, I want them to smile even if they've had a bad day, I want them to know there are choices, I want everyone to be happy, but I know it is a challenge.  The way things have spiraled so out of control.  Teachers, nurses, hospital cuts, school districts, role models, people losing their homes, so much violence, job loss, budget cuts, no school supplies, political warfare, low to basically no income, but what can I do? It's too much to fight on my own.  I knew I needed to be part of some thing, but what? I got it, join forces with people with the same goals, do some research on non-profit organizations, research on the political side of things, look into what is out there to help so many people that have mental illness, depression, anxiety & that are just lost & feel alone.  I used resources from experience & this lead me to volunteering at several places; Boys & Girls Club, MHA (Mental Health Association), Substance Abuse for juveniles & attending seminars on what is happening to our youths.
I knew that youth programming is my target because of what our Foundation stands for & the children are the future.  So if I could just give one child hope, I've accomplished a whole lot.

 I've took off a couple of years from the workforce, not intentionally, but it was meant for a purpose that I can see "now" see.  You cannot see much when you are in the midst of worries & trouble.  Going back to college as a Human Service major & to soon be a college graduate has been overwhelming in a good way.  I tried my luck & applied for "work-study program", it's not some thing I am use to (especially the pay), but this is the whole purpose, coming out my comfort zone, humble myself & know it's not about the money, the recognition, but it is about me, our Foundation, my parents, my loved ones that have lost their lives to gun violence.   These are the biggest reasons I have been determined, motivated & pushed myself harder then I ever have. 
I know now what is real struggle because everything else in life seemed to come so easy in my life, but this time around, it not to prove anything, but to improve the "quality of lives" with help from people that are more experienced in this line of work.

In just 3 short months as a work-study employee, I was asked by the "Big Dog" (my boss of our dept.) if I ever thought about taken this job on long term, full-time, even after I graduate.  He went on to ask me if he could mentor me, walk me through every aspect, so if the opportunity to fight for me to get a full-time position, he be able to have something to present to his boss on how I would be an assess to the team.  He went on to tell me all the wonderful things that the staff has complimented me on & from what he has observed himself.  I wanted to burst out in tears (like I did in my interview when I went for the position) I was beyond gratification, I wanted to jump up & holler "HELL YEAH" but I was all cool & told him that it's a honor & privilege. Of course, I said yes!
The job is going well & so many other blessings keeping coming my way.  I been asked to become part of SGA (Student Government Association), to help teach a course this summer, & my classes I managed to get all "A's" this semester. Have to say, I'm making a major breakthrough, but this is ONLY the beginning.  I have to always continue to research & see what else is out there, how can I stay in the network & keep my hands dirty, but clean.

The College held a Career Fair which I attended & my Instructor & Mentor advised me to checkout this one company that I would definitely be interested in because they deal with Non-Profit Organizations & also the young gentleman that would be representing the company was a former student & mention her name.  (Some times it is about who you know),  I attended the Fair & acquired &about the recommendation.  The process from the beginning of the application is pretty hefty & demanding.  It isn't your typical application & I didn't really understand what they were all about or represented.  But me being juswhoim, I researched and I got a little discouraged, just for a 2nd to do the essay application.  I knew that if I did get a chance, it would be awesome.  Paid internship for 10 months, medical benefits, other benefits including help with housing, paying for college, a $5,500 bonus after completion & possible long-term employment.  WTH, you only live once & my confidence is a little more different this time. So what if I am a little bit older then the rest of the applicants, my experience usually outweighs all of that. 
Most of us have witness, college graduates that cannot find a job in their field.  After all the hard work & the money that parents put out & trying to get any scholarships that are out there can make you feel hopeless.  I am here to tell everyone, NO MATTER WHAT..NEVER  GIVE UP~ Don't use excuses for reasons to dismiss your goals, passions, & dreams. You are as young as you feel & some days, you look.  Shit today I feel like 95 & Idk how someone who really is 95 feels.  People turn & ask me for I.D. to purchase certain items or always think I am younger than I appear.   I use to take it for a joke, but now I love to challenge them & before I show my identity, I make a small wager that I can round-about their age & my children are probably their age.  I win.  I have always had winner motives, but I don't gamble (money wise). 
Well next time....I know...I know..so what I didn't keep my resolution.  I'm a busy woman.  I don't know when it will be a next time.  But when that time comes.  I will let you know how my NEW job is coming along. Yes, I am tap dancing because I finally can say, I moved on & so what if I do look back.  I have to watch my back. I have to see how far I've gotten I'm not that same person I was yesterday or 20 minutes ago.

Now I am eagered to learn again & revise that resume, take off some of those old & useless jobs & when I have time, I hope I  will be able to share my next accomplishment. "I'm Making a Difference".  How about you?
 
#JUSWHOIM

Some memorable moments

This Year marked the 3rd year for the Violent murder of my cousin/son. He would've been 21.
As every year, we have an Annual March in his Honor. We march from where he was born to where he was killed.
As we gather around that tree, we smile, we remember, we cry, we embrace, we pray & together we all Rejoice & Celebrate. This Year we held a bowling party & All that matters is that he continues to keep afloat, we rise to the occasion, we march on no matter how are day may be because this is how he would've wanted us.
So to my Inspiration, my Motivation, my Heart, my Strength, my EVERYTHING..I ask that you continue to Guide me with help from the LORD & I Envy you, but the Comfort you give me is unexplainable. I feel your embrace, I still can feel you sitting on my lap no matter how older you became, that lap was a way to get what you wanted & you GOT IT.
I will see you again..Continue to Rest My Love. Your my Angel & Everything I stand for {Empowerment & Equality} you lead the Pathway.
Sincerely,
**§Hooting4§ucc£§§ Foundation**

"Know Your History"