The Meaning of Loss

I lost something & somebody that was truly valuable.

Some days I do not like what the world has come to.  How we have all gotten loston & wrapped up in..#socialmeaningless & forgotten the feel of real socializing.  I'll text you replaced, I'm going to call you.  Then when I text you, you text back & we do this about 3-4 times, but as soon as one of us call, we don't answer.

Then I want to thank social media for all the reconnection for so many friends that I have a profound & meaningful relationship with that I NEVER meant to let go. 

Do You know what is true friendship? True friendship is those that you rarely see..you rarely converse with, but no matter how long it's been. You are greeted with open arms.

I suffered many lost.. Valuables.. Loved ones..many family members & some gruesome & tragic. So when I lost a friend..a sister..a schoolmate..someone that you first encounter in life when you first go to school.  

A 35 year sisterhood.  It was a different feeling that I never felt before. 

I spent everyday of my childhood & part of my adolescent years at her house. We grew together & watched one another transform from kids to motherhood. 

When she reconnected with me through Facebook. All our childhood memories were so clear. She ask me to call her so we could catch up.  But of course, everyday hustle makes us put so much & so many people we love on the back burner. We never talked..only through FB.  I told her how beautiful she still was & couldn't believe how grown her daughter gotten because last time I saw her daughter she was just three months old & now she was a mother.  Congratulated my friend on her new journey & life as a "Glammom" {new term for new generation of young grandmoms}.

Then one day after a hard day, I decided that I was going straight to bed, but some reason I went on FB & my heart dropped-------Everywhere I looked...everything I read was about my friend/my sister that I known since fourth grade..someone I loved..someone I never once had an argument with..someone who invited me in her house & treated me like family.  That house is where everyone came to have nothing but fun..NO DRAMA..Old school fun. And now she was gone.

I try not to beat myself up for not calling. I think she was not just trying to catch up..hang out..reminisce, but to let me know she's been sick for a couple years after a surgical procedure. 

My heart is still in pain.  My beautiful sister has left us but she also made the rest of us who grew up all together so much closer & more old friends reconnect.

I didn't think I would be able to handle seeing her in that casket. I seen friendly faces..our childhood friends.. her only sibling..her mother..her daughter & I heard the pastor asked did anyone want to say something about her or to her family.  God gave me the strength & I saw her face so peaceful & pure as an angel.

I dare ever say goodbye. Just like everyday I left her house, instead I got the chance to say.."I'm out..I'll be back..I'll see you later. 

I love you my sister..my friend..my girl to the end. 

**This is dedicated to my dear friend.. Dana China Howerton**

 May you continue to smile upon us..lift up when were weak (especially your gracious mother, sister, friends & all your loved ones).  We will NEVER forget you Diva. You were a bling out Diva with all the flash & class from the day we met. I will never forget all the fun we had..jumping rope..chasing the boys to beat them down for touching our butts. I see these kids know & they will never see the fun we had playing outside..making up games..no technology. True emotions..hugs & intimate moments.

You are "UNFORGETTABLE"..PIP MY DEAR FRIEND.. MY SISTER. I MISS YOU MORE THAN I EVER HAVE.  Another sign to NEVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED.

"Bow My head for a moment of Silence to ALL my loved ones gone...but still in my Heart & Mind"